After we were married for a few years we decided to have children. Unfortunately, the children never happened. Despite tests and extensive doctors treatments and bills we were just unable to have children and the doctors could find no real reason to explain it. We talked about adopting or becoming foster parents but ended up doing neither. We spent time with nephews and nieces and life went on. We were happy with each other and felt that if it was meant to be (or not) we would accept whatever happened.
There were parts of the vision that were very disturbing but none more then the deaths. There were often glimpses of death and its aftermath in the camp. Some were caused by accidents and some were violent. All of them were very vivid and upsetting. I have never liked funerals but in the vision I attended more then a normal share.
There was one funeral for a woman who died leaving a small baby. Everybody stood at the graveside and mourned. In that small glimpse, I held her child in my arms and realized that I was responsible for its care. Around me at the graveside were several other children and I also knew that these children had no living parents. They too were my responsibility and I was their only mother.
I also knew that there were other families in the camp that had grown in the same way. Orphaned children were adopted and cared for by many of the survivors in the camp. Gone were the days of two parents with only two children. Families in the camp were large. There were eight, nine and sometimes more children living in extended families. There were children who lost parents and parents who lost children. Somehow the fragments of families ripped apart were combined to form new bonds and new families brought together by circumstance and in some ways stronger then before. While I realized that I fiercely loved and protected these children in the camp, it is difficult to accept that after years of being without children, it will take someone else's death for me to become a mother.
These young children of the camp are nothing like the spoiled, pampered and disobedient children that were being brought up before the change. These children have many chores and less playtime. They spend time learning but its NOT in a classroom with a teacher. They are taught to work with the adults. They learn through experience. They learn to read in the evening when chores are done. They still fish and hunt and do crafts or garden but all those activities contribute to the camp and their education. Somehow, as I've come to recognize this "new" way of educating children in the vision, it seems like a more natural way for children to learn and grow up. While they seem a little older then their years they don't seem to be unhappy or know that there was a time when things were different. I myself grew up in public school but after the vision I began to believe that to be unnatural. The funny realization is that what I perceive as new is actually probably the way children were taught before public schools were created.
In some ways, the camp seems like a better way of living. The food is simpler and home grown. Education and religion are just a part of growing up. There is no school but there is a small simple chapel. The younger children seem to adjust easier then the adults and older children since they don't know any other life. Families are closer and more involved. Safety is a part of daily life rather then something provided by government. Laws are basic and enforced swiftly within the group. Free time is something enjoyed and simple things bring happiness. Religion and its practice brings MORE joy then I had ever witnessed because people were now aware of the real sacrifices that were made for them to be able to worship.
On the other hand, the work is hard and tiring. There seems to be very little free time. There are no stores for supplies. Every little thing has to be managed to prevent waste. Providing food and water have become a major focus of existence. Replacing things that wear out or break take time, skill and effort. Training people in the old ways isn't always easy with the people who were raised in a time of convenience. There is great fear about safety and attacks from the outside. Every newcomer is met with skepticism and distrust. While there is joy in worship there is still some stealth because it is no longer "allowed".
I came to believe that there was one critical thing that needed to be preserved for the camp. While food and other supplies were absolutely necessary, knowledge and books were just as important. I decided that I had to amass a library of information because there would be a time when it would be lost forever. I also decided that I needed to keep some things in my memory because I feared that the books would somehow be destroyed. I especially memorized some books of the Bible to keep them safe. I also memorized other information I felt was valuable.
I began to wonder what would happen if something happened to me that would prevent my sharing the skills and information I needed to pass on to the people in the camp. I knew that I had to find a way to guarantee that the information would not be lost.
Eventually, I met more people that I felt I recognized from the camp. They were obviously younger at the time then they appeared in the vision but I recognized them anyway. I had never shared the vision before but I decided that these people provided something valuable. I finally saw a way to insure that the skills and information I myself was learning would be saved if something happened to me. I knew that I would need to teach what I could to others BEFORE it was needed so that there would be someone prepared if I didn't make it. My only problem was deciding how much of the vision to share and what information was the most important. I had spent years teaching myself but I didn't believe that others had that much time left.
There were parts of the vision that were very disturbing but none more then the deaths. There were often glimpses of death and its aftermath in the camp. Some were caused by accidents and some were violent. All of them were very vivid and upsetting. I have never liked funerals but in the vision I attended more then a normal share.
There was one funeral for a woman who died leaving a small baby. Everybody stood at the graveside and mourned. In that small glimpse, I held her child in my arms and realized that I was responsible for its care. Around me at the graveside were several other children and I also knew that these children had no living parents. They too were my responsibility and I was their only mother.
I also knew that there were other families in the camp that had grown in the same way. Orphaned children were adopted and cared for by many of the survivors in the camp. Gone were the days of two parents with only two children. Families in the camp were large. There were eight, nine and sometimes more children living in extended families. There were children who lost parents and parents who lost children. Somehow the fragments of families ripped apart were combined to form new bonds and new families brought together by circumstance and in some ways stronger then before. While I realized that I fiercely loved and protected these children in the camp, it is difficult to accept that after years of being without children, it will take someone else's death for me to become a mother.
These young children of the camp are nothing like the spoiled, pampered and disobedient children that were being brought up before the change. These children have many chores and less playtime. They spend time learning but its NOT in a classroom with a teacher. They are taught to work with the adults. They learn through experience. They learn to read in the evening when chores are done. They still fish and hunt and do crafts or garden but all those activities contribute to the camp and their education. Somehow, as I've come to recognize this "new" way of educating children in the vision, it seems like a more natural way for children to learn and grow up. While they seem a little older then their years they don't seem to be unhappy or know that there was a time when things were different. I myself grew up in public school but after the vision I began to believe that to be unnatural. The funny realization is that what I perceive as new is actually probably the way children were taught before public schools were created.
In some ways, the camp seems like a better way of living. The food is simpler and home grown. Education and religion are just a part of growing up. There is no school but there is a small simple chapel. The younger children seem to adjust easier then the adults and older children since they don't know any other life. Families are closer and more involved. Safety is a part of daily life rather then something provided by government. Laws are basic and enforced swiftly within the group. Free time is something enjoyed and simple things bring happiness. Religion and its practice brings MORE joy then I had ever witnessed because people were now aware of the real sacrifices that were made for them to be able to worship.
On the other hand, the work is hard and tiring. There seems to be very little free time. There are no stores for supplies. Every little thing has to be managed to prevent waste. Providing food and water have become a major focus of existence. Replacing things that wear out or break take time, skill and effort. Training people in the old ways isn't always easy with the people who were raised in a time of convenience. There is great fear about safety and attacks from the outside. Every newcomer is met with skepticism and distrust. While there is joy in worship there is still some stealth because it is no longer "allowed".
I came to believe that there was one critical thing that needed to be preserved for the camp. While food and other supplies were absolutely necessary, knowledge and books were just as important. I decided that I had to amass a library of information because there would be a time when it would be lost forever. I also decided that I needed to keep some things in my memory because I feared that the books would somehow be destroyed. I especially memorized some books of the Bible to keep them safe. I also memorized other information I felt was valuable.
I began to wonder what would happen if something happened to me that would prevent my sharing the skills and information I needed to pass on to the people in the camp. I knew that I had to find a way to guarantee that the information would not be lost.
Eventually, I met more people that I felt I recognized from the camp. They were obviously younger at the time then they appeared in the vision but I recognized them anyway. I had never shared the vision before but I decided that these people provided something valuable. I finally saw a way to insure that the skills and information I myself was learning would be saved if something happened to me. I knew that I would need to teach what I could to others BEFORE it was needed so that there would be someone prepared if I didn't make it. My only problem was deciding how much of the vision to share and what information was the most important. I had spent years teaching myself but I didn't believe that others had that much time left.